...and Enlightenment

A riddle and Enlightenment

2010-11-09T14:35:00.001Z

How and who hears the whisper that does not make a sound and who hears the silent answer that has not been uttered. If who is someone, and someone else answers, then there are two that we label as who. If that which does not make a sound and that which is not said is heard by me or by you, then surely you too must be either of the two? So do you listen or do you shout, does your question even come out? Is the silence here where I am or is it there where someone else is? If someone was who then someone else must be the second of the two, and if there is a here and a there and nowhere else anywhere, then what unites the two is the silence that is here and there, which in this case means everywhere. Do you expect this whisper to be heard by the other of the two, not the first one referred to as who, and does this who that might be you wonder how the other who can hear in this silence that is everywhere? If you do then the second who tells this to the other of the two that just might be you; The entrance to the silence that is everywhere is to be found in the now and here, if you enter it, from just about anywhere, you will find the answer to just about anything in there. So come on and enter it if you dare...

I am here, and yes I swear I hear...

I AM between Reflection and Enlightenment

2010-05-13T02:10:00.000+01:00

We came into the world to look at it, this reflection of I AM on the other side of the coin, a perfect reflection of us in form. But sticking in our heads into matter we thought the matter was us and falsely identified ourself with the icon and got stuck.
The mirror is fractal liquid reality, it is Pandora’s box. We need to take out our heads from the box every now and then.

It is the reflection that Narcissus fell in love with and fell into and died.

So why are we so attached to it? Because we like to know ourselves, we like someone to tell us what we are, our entire lives are created around creating an identity for ourselves so that we can know who we are. We know who we are through the money we earn, the friends we have, the brands we buy and wear, by what our therapists tells us, but what our latest lover whispers in our ears. We love to hear who we are.

But we are not our reflection, it is beautiful in its own right. And when we let it shine itself, not only reflect our light like the moon reflects the light of the sun, then we become equals, as we are, the masculine and feminine aspects of reality, as one, supreme intelligence, the All and One.

So just observe, and you will see that what you see is yourself, and when you see it is yourself, how can you react to your own reflection. Just be what you are, be perfect and so the reflection will be. Don’t let it upset you, because you contain the capacity for everything, do not judge it, just perceive it. And then perceive that which you want to perceive. Do not let the passing of time in form fool you into thinking that you have an end, thinking this will take you to it. Knowing that you are eternal, shape the world you want to live.

Deprogram yourself, reprogram yourself, look at the essence of who you truly are and let that shine through. That is when sister Luna and Brother Sol will finally marry, It is in between these that I AM, the child of God born into the cave of existence by the Mother Earth. Our maternal world, the material reflection of the Kingdom.

The trinity of the I AM.

The top, the supreme intelligence which emmanates creation,

and the base of creation, the foundation that holds the multiplicity of the world,

different from the source which is singular.

In between those two is where our life turns, in the flow of energy that I AM.

The eye, I, is the observing factor of the supreme intellignce,

the I that observes the world outside of me, projected from within.

Seeing and Enlightenment

2010-05-10T11:34:00.000+01:00

I AM the observer,

That is the state that I am aiming at reaching, being the observer. When I do not trust that what I am observing is perfect “I” stop the supreme intelligence that Life is from flowing.

Those are the actions of ego. But if I AM aware, the I notices that every time the great deceiver, the ego that I falsely identify with at times, comes into play, the I that I AM is not present. Awareness cannot exist in the limited view of the ego.

Bringing my awareness to what I AM, brings harmony, truth and beauty back to life. To be able to relax and not feel the need for the ego to go in and correct the flow that otherwise happens effortlessly, I need to trust that things are perfect as they are.

For me to trust that they are perfect as they are, I need all the help I can get. Walking through a dark room can be achieved with comfort if you have someone to guide you through it, someone you trust who you know have walked that road before. And in lack of such a teacher to show you the way, you need only open your eyes. Because the action of seeing is a dual one, the light goes both ways and the act of observing creates what you see. So when you look with proper vision, you emanate light, and your path appears in front of you. When you do not look properly, darkness prevails, and the path is not visible.

By seeing the path to enlightenment, we arrive.

Reflections on the surface of creation and Enlightenment

2010-04-18T00:38:00.001+01:00

Enlightenment, and nothing changes. Everything appears different, yet nothing has changed. Things are like they always have been in the infinite space of no-time. It is just the perception of this all-pervading nothingness that has changed.

Growing weary of the illusion of separation, your mind chooses to stop pretending, if even just for a while. A dip in the emptiness of everything, a taste of inseparable allness, and then back again.

But not back as to a place elsewhere, nor another state of mind. Just another part of mind, ever present, never increasing nor ceasing in activity, always there and forever holding all possibilities within it, nothing is there that cannot be perceived by this mind, nor can anything exist outside of it.

The only way of escaping omniscience is by believing in the reflections on the surface of creation, believing that these ripples are real and separate from what they reflect, our essence. One faculty of mind reflecting another aspect of it to the aspect that perceives it. In ignorance we become like dogs chasing our own tails, never being able to stop the turning of the wheel that the illusory existence is.

Only at points where the chase and its ever illusive end bores us, we sit down and reflect. When we feel that the mirage prodduced by our thoughts of food and drink cannot fulfil us or satisfy our thirst or our hunger.

It is when we take on the role of the reflector that we see the thoughts that form the reflections that the perceiver sees. It is here that we see that what we experience is a produce of mind. It is here we choose to either jump into the game again, with higher awareness of the governing factors of it, or we choose to step out of it.

We paint our existence with our radiant mind onto the canvas of creation.
The painter, observer and partaker I AM.
Take time to reflect, do you like the painting, or have you been painting in your sleep?
Mind is the canvas, the brush and the paint.
The canvas reflects you and your thoughts with mirror like precision and without discrimination.

Swimming towards love and enlightenment

2010-04-14T11:44:00.002+01:00

A familiar feeling, somewhere I’ve been before
Old skin shed, my being on the surface

The road towards fluidity, without scales to protect myself
Merging with reality, swimming through existence

The illusion is dead, but gravity working against me
Thoughts flow down into the space it once filled

Not struggling yet, the currents of life still flow effortlessly
Don’t hold on, don’t accumulate, just pass on through

High, as the energy flows through me, I, the path of least resistance
Observing, letting go, no judgement, no grasping

The road takes me back to familiar places, let go
These swamps caught me once, just let go

Observing the bulging void in my energetic being
Not allowing stagnation, no accumulation

Keep on swimming, leaving the muddy murky waters
Leaving shore, out in the clear blue salty sea

Surrounded by an ocean of energy, floating with the current
Healed, strong and on my way, strengthened by the flow, just letting go

Catch it, look at it, let it go

Clean out your net and keep on swimming

Near death, rebirth and Enlightenment

2010-04-13T01:04:00.001+01:00

Alive, I am reborn again...An open tunnel, a decision to be made

Enter here and see your life, see things as they are…
…but I tell you this. I cannot promise you that you will return.

-Can I make a deal, pull me back regardless if I want to stay or not?

-It doesn’t work that way…

On my deathbed, already covered with dust, dust in my mouth and dust in my stomach. The roots of mother Earth inside my guts.

I see you all come in a procession, all the people I’ve ever met, all the faces I have ever seen, everyone that I ever knew, there you walk, side by side, two and two. Talking, chatting away, dressed in black, here for my funeral.

But it is not a sad occasion, you all seem happy, like you are here to celebrate me somehow. I am the only one here who seems confused, but your faces give me comfort. I give in, I observe.

I observe a series of events that flash before my eyes.

This is who you are, the images say. These are your relations, these are the entanglements that you choose to identify yourself through and this is what it feels to your soul, your spirit, your undying self to be identified this way…

The pain that runs through the existence of my being when the roots of my sufferings are shown shake my very essence.

-No! Don’t remove these attachments yet, they are what make me me!

-You have to let go…

-I’ll go back and fix it, I don’t want to go feeling unfulfilled, it hurts too much. I don’t want to have wasted my chance this time around…

The line of people, family and friends, leads up to a point where I see my brother holding his child in his arms, his wife by his side, congratulating me, congratulating us.

I look so happy, you are there by my side, we look so happy. Your face is not there, it is just a hole, thank God I cannot see your face yet, but I feel that you are happy too...

This I want, this I can go back to…

The dust and roots inside of me spreads their tendrils, deep into the mother that once gave birth to me, now back I go. But from the ashes I see new life emerge, the roots they sink deep underground, replacing the old ones, and in my place, new life takes form. It stretches its leafs and unfolds itself towards the light. I was given a second chance, a new life in this body, be strong.

A bad feeling and Enlightenment

2010-04-07T16:23:00.003+01:00

The feeling that comes at times, a feeling of discomfort. I feel it in my solar plexus, spreading up my heart. I know it comes from someone else, it always does when it hits my solar. Sometimes I can feel who it is, this time I’m not too sure. Sometimes it has to do with me, sometimes it’s just someone close to me.

But as I have been tuning in and feeling, it started fading without leaving any answers. The only thing I felt was that it was in my heart as well. It felt like a feeling of sadness, with a slight touch of anger. I think there was also a self-frustration involved in it all. I hope I’m not part of the origin.

If it became diluted because I heard it, because I went into it and listened to it or if you simply started feeling better, I don’t know. I even don’t know who you are, which worries me more. When I know, I normally call and chat for a while. But now I can’t settle my mind, I just have to keep tuning in and send you love.

Global Consciousness, the way back to Eden and Enlightenment

2010-04-07T10:12:00.006+01:00

A world of One my mind can se, where you and they and me are We.

We live together side by side, by law of Love we all abide.

We overcame this war of greed, gave wealth and love to those in need.

We found a way for us to bind, connect ourselves with godly mind.

We started growing one by one, until the day when Love had won.

And once we found that sacred state, it sealed our path, fulfilled our fate.

At last we let our egos go, our hearts they joined in one strong flow.

A flow that showed that we were one, at once it made all ill undone.

We started feel the flow of life, we buried hatchets, abandoned strife.

We showed the way for sisters, brothers, who spread the word to all the others.

Now hear my sister and hear my brother, you are in fact one with each other.

You’re not alone, you’ll never be, our god and goddess are you and me.

We are but fragments of love divine, the thoughts of gods are yours and mine.

And when we think and feel in chorus, the acts of gods starts working for us.

Connecting minds with those who knew, we made some progress but were still few.

We travelled far and spread the word, in distant land the truth was heard.

‘Cause once you hear your hearts desire, your soul you heat and set on fire.

The iron into steel heat turns, and all your walls and sorrow burns.

And once the walls no longer there, your inner voice you clearly hear.

It tells you loud with love and care, go find the rest and have no fear.

The rest of you is what you’ll find, we are but parts in this great mind.

And once those parts they start to speak, our human race, our world will peak.

So have no fear my sister dear, please have a seat, pull up a chair.

And talk to me a little bit, so I can show your thoughts they fit.

Now don’t be quiet take of that muzzle, your thoughts are part of the great puzzle.

Your pieces need to be connected, our global dream will be corrected.

Because when all the pieces meet, they will depict a huge straight street.

A street for thoughts to travel through, a flow of thoughts through me through you.

And on the path the thoughts will say, what should be done, prepare the way.

The way for all of us to live, to love and learn, receive and give.

And then our lives a dream will be, a dream by you, a dream by me.

Your inner dreams, your hearts desire, this love will bring us even higher.

I see in you what is in me, in truth and joy we all will be.

This world will be a paradise, it can’t be told, words don’t suffice.

‘Cause once we all can live as one, our Mother Earth can say she won.

She won the battle for survival, we cleared the way for her revival.

In garden lost again we’ll be, the place God made for you for me.

When we were not at one with all, we took a plunge, the greatest fall.

A fall from grace, a fall in shame, we in lost ourselves in the old game.

The game of life and fragmentation, we suffered pain and separation.

But all of that is history, now starts the tale of us, of We.

So do you see it now my dear, how do you feel when this you hear?

Can you see it in your mind, if not re-read, reflect, rewind.

Because it is the truth my love, what is below will join above.

Before they join in Love anew, there might be doubts but only few.

'Cause when we all in love will walk, our ways of light will do the talk.

Like stars at night our heads will shine, to show the way to yours to mine.

The home of us, of you and me, in times to come that’s where we’ll be.

So is it there inside your being, can you see what I am seeing?

Or do I need to shine some more? I think you see it clearer now, there is no strife there is no war.

The light from the all seeing eye shines the way for you and I

Dragon, Metamorphosis and Enlightenment

2010-04-05T09:39:00.001+01:00

I feel it burn within, without, what is this phase that is playing out? It makes me talk before I think, unless I walk I start to sink.

The faults I thought I had no more, are taking over, my mind is war. My breath, my skin, my speech they ooze, from drunken thoughts and discount booze.

I thought you died you horrid dragon, but still you steer this one-man wagon. Get off my seat you ghastly beast, its mine to drive this is my feast.

You weren’t invited to live this life, I thought we dealt with this old strife. The feast is mine and so its fruits, get out the car, take off my boots.

My friends you meet you hug and greet, they think your me, you lousy cheat. I stabbed you once I’ll stab you twice. When you are dead, again I’ll rise.

I’m death, I’m dying, in truth I’m dead, you killed me yes, inside your head. I’m in your shoes, and in your bed, because you left an open head.

There was no one to steer your wagon, I read the sign and it said Dragon. Reserved for me when you were gone, I lived your life cause you lived none.

A dragon’s job is never done, so hate me not you noble one. You lived your life in times that went, you worried about tomorrow’s rent.

You failed to see you live today, so things they came and went away. And now it seems you’re left to watch, I think I’ll kick this up a notch.

Don’t think I’ve left this world to you, your time in here it is now due. I see you now you awful creature, you were in fact a valued teacher.

You took my body and made it yours, neglected me and all my chores. The more I listened and obeyed your voice, the less I had what I call choice.

Until the point where you were me, I had supposed that I was free. But when I woke and felt your breath, I finally saw that you were death

Your actions showed me who you are, you are not me, no from it far. When now I see your truest face, I can come back and rule this place.

You would not die the times I tried, because you had already died. My actions were but fuel for fire, I was fulfilling your deep desire.

With drinks and smoke I did escape, I only helped you taking shape. The more I hid the more you came, I was just playing your stupid game,

The only way to kill decay, to make it stop and go away. I need to live my life today, to shout and jump and yell hurray.

Today is here to be enjoyed, I leave this place this horrid void. It was the pit of you old dragon, we’re switching places, this is My wagon.

And on my ride I will enjoy, my life I’ll live in truth and joy. You did not perish first time around, you licked your wounds without a sound.

You were but hiding to regain your might, preparing for that final fight. I see you now you lowly being, at last I am now truly seeing.

My sudden show of bad behaviour, was nothing short of a life saviour. A transformation to loose my fetter, to go from bad to being better.

I am now present, I am alive, I’m in this body and here I thrive. No longer can your claws me reach, there is no more that you can teach.

The climb to wake is long and steep, I’d rather not fall back asleep. I will not fall I will not hide, I will enjoy my life with pride.

So hear this, dragon I’m thanking thee, for showing you and revealing me. By living life there is no place, for death, decay nor empty space.

So this I say my dearest friend, the dragon brings about the end. So when your skin and breath it burns, the beast and you are taking turns.

You’re taking turns to run your body, its craftsmanship is dark and shoddy. It brings no peace nor joy or ease, its very essence is spelt disease.

To run your thoughts and rule your kingdom, you should use truth and saintly wisdom. When this has left your ways and speech, the dragon is within your reach.

It blocks your life, your flow of thoughts, but don’t be trapped within its knots. Your soul it catches within its dam, but tell it loud I know I AM.

Sunshine Clouds and Enlightenment

2010-04-03T12:41:00.003+01:00

The sun shines so bright, but I feel a cloud coming. I do not believe in time nor do I believe in distances in this infinite space where travel is impossible. Between here and there a midpoint will always appear. Once that midpoint is reached, another one announces its place. It is always in between, hindering us from reaching what we aim at.

So then there is here, and travel is not what it might at first sight appear. It is in thought we travel, so the skies above that shine so blue, are but a thought by me and a thought by you. A thought of sunshine in my field I see, not feeling happy because of the light nor is the light shining because I am happy. I do not distinguish between the observer and the observed, so in my words today I am shining and happy.

Yet a cloud I sense, it is on its way, is it in my mind or is it there? The sky is still blue, so I turn to you, is the sun still shining or did my rain fall on you? Forgive my rain, they were just words. I do not feel attached to the dark moods of the skies, the acidic rain was not meant for your eyes.

No it was just a way for me to clear my mind, to shine some light on the monsters under my bed, to find they were all figments of my imaginative head. Because surely when life is a play and all is joy, what are the words from this foolish boy? They take me up they take me down, so come on and and enjoy this merry go round.

So shine inside and shine without, today I AM spring, and so I shine without a doubt.

Venting, whining, provocations and Enlightemnet

2010-04-03T09:44:00.006+01:00

I got tested, and it confirmed my suspicions. I had that disease that put me in the one percentile population.

The symptoms are grave. I smile, but it is not visible, I laugh and enjoy yet I look stern and serious. My jokes are unnoticed by the ones unaffected by my condition, but still I laugh, and you my dear, you laugh with me.

I see how you live and how you act, I understand and I play along and I give of that part of me that you understand and accept. I can dance your dance.

You put your arm around my shoulder and tell me about what is possible and what is not, but of these things you have no idea. You know what you’ve read in a book, and what someone who read a book told you was true. I do not try to prove you wrong, I let you believe what you do, but somehow it seems important to you that I understand your truth, the truth that you throw about as if it was what everyone in the world but me knew to be true.

How wonderful, an absolute truth in a world that has diverging viewpoints on everything else. Eureka, you found it and you look at me with sympathy because I have failed to see what is so obvious.

But I have a disease. I know how you think, I am inside of your head. I see how things are connected.

-I see, you say. But yet you don’t. Because when you see, you actually see. Visually I see the connections of what my mind already figured out. I see the connections, I see your thoughts, I see your discomfort and I see your ease.

I swallowed the red pill, I cannot go back, And at times it is lonely. I know I whine, but don’t take me wrong. I do not want to go back. I just want to be seen for who I am without being a provocation to you. Your way of being is ok with me, all I ask is for you to be ok with me in return.

-Your presence is provoking he said. But when I asked you why, you could not give a satisfactory explanation. Because you didn’t have one. You don’t know enough about yourself to answer it, and it was a rhetorical question in any case. I only wanted to show you that you didn’t know why you thought so, but I did. I did not tell you, but I know

So the test showed me what I knew, but it was good to see. I skipped classes as a kid because I already knew how to write do math and speak other languages before I started. Then came the day i was looking forward to, i started school, and once there you taught me how to write, you taught me math, things I already knew you taught me. Because it was easier than seeing me for what I was and teaching me something I needed. So I got bored, bored because I was a child and I knew more than you did, and this too was a provocation to you.

I did my work better than you could, but that was a provocation i now know, you didn’t see why you questioned my work, what was wrong with it. You just knew it was wrong. Fair enough, but I saw why you thought it was wrong, I knew so I said someone else did it. And you praised him for the work he did. Same work, another less provoking character in your eyes. I laughed, it was another test. A test to see what is so provoking with me, and a joke from my side, for me to laugh. When I told you, you pitied me. Why? I thought. Why cannot I have fun with this? These are the jokes that keep me going when I provoke you too much and you try to convince me there is something wrong with me. They confirm me when you do not. I am like you, I too need love.

I offered you my help, I love to help, I know how to help. But you rejected my help loudly, you rejected it and had me know that it was wrong, interesting, but obviously wrong. Then you came back to me months later and told me of your findings. This that you had discovered. Wonderful I thought, but you failed to acknowledge it came from me. Because of wanting to glorify your own being you did not thank me, you choose to strut around with this newfound whatnot showing that my knowledge and services were not wanted here. Good for you, I did not provoke you, instead you choose to know it was your own brilliant mind that had produced this insignificance that was offered to you for free.

You told me what I could see and what I could not, and sure, from your vantage point the things I saw were unfathomable and preposterous. How dared I think that I could see something that you, beloved high being, did not see. No, I was clearly deranged and disillusioned. There are no such things as light around beings and things, and of course I could not see the thoughts of people. How dared I think that I possessed something that you did not, me a lowly being. It was easier for you to not have to peek into yourself and have a look. It was easier to believe in your own grandeur and the self-glorifying image of yourself that you had created and grewn accustomed to, and it was easier to throw dung at me than it was to look when I was pointing, so eager to wake you up and have you join in on the play. So eager to have a playmate in the game of life.

You asked me for help, and I did help you. Because I love you, I love you all, I do not hold your way of being against you, there are no wrongs nor rights. I see why you act the way you do, remember? When you see you can only love. So I love people, because I see how they are trapped, like I was trapped once and at times still am. I point the direction, leave small hints that will open doors over time, but the walls are thick and my cries travel poorly through the walls of shadows. But still my help you took, and not only did you take my help, you took more, but you did not thank me. I gave you, and would have given you regardless, you did not have to take from me, nothing is mine, some things just choose to be with me at points.

In a dream you can take as many things as you possibly can, but to what use? It is all gone when you wake up and all you have with you are memories of being a greedy thieving person without anyone close to you. Does my giving and sharing provoke you so much so that you have to take control of the situation by taking more than what is offered in order not to be subjected to my loving giving? Yes, you take control of the situation, I see that, but what does it gain you? I tell you, you loose something else my dear friend.

But it is not my knowledge that provokes, because I have none. When I let go of my self, when I let my ego go, then there are no walls left to block out the light from without. There is just knowledge, and it flows through me. I do not claim ownership to the ideas that visit me. I thank them and revere them, that is why they come. I do not try to fit them into my view of things, I view them as they are and describe them as I see them. They show me the connections, how they fit together. They are alive. Thought is alive, just as matter is living. I love them both, and so they show love back and let me channel them, through me they interact in our world.

I am a channel for them and I am a channel for love, some people let me channel this freely and bathe in it. Some people want to take it from me, wanting to possess that love and so they behave in calculated uncomfortable ways trying to hinder it or take it all. And some people deny my right to channel it altogether and thus I cannot show love openly. I have to hide it, because this freedom too provokes.

But love cannot be hindered, because it is not in the nature of love to be hindered. Love is unconditional and eternal. It is not my love or your love, it is Love. Love stands in its own right regardless if you want to let it in or not. It does not bend to the whims of your ego.

-You are still fond of her, you said and put your arm on my shoulder in a spirit of pity. Of course I am, it is not a secret to anyone, I replied and sent the pity back through my back into your arm and where it came from. Pity that you do not know the nature of love, that Love is eternal and everywhere, I thought to myself.

Yet no one pities me for loving you my friend. We met on a train going nowhere and you did not paint an image of me on my skin. I met you when i was ready to let the shadows melt in the light of One, i had asked for a reason to stay in the game and you appeared out of thin air. With you I can tell you I love you, with you there is no possessing and you see me, and love me back. You see me for who I am, what lies beneath, and I am allowed to let it out in front of you, you see my faults too, and you tell me when I dress myself in the robes of the ones I lament about. When I too am short-sighted and pompous you laugh at me, you laugh so that I can see myself through your eyes and join in on the laughter. I love you for that. You know that love is there regardless of us being present or not, so we can dive into it and eat of it without destroying it, as friends we dance through life.

But with You it is yet another story, with you I tread carefully, because when we meet we are surrounded with those who I lament about, and they pity me, so I play their games so that they will tolerate and pity me. Because then they can put me in a box that they can relate to, and thus my presence does not provoke them. Yes, the box is small and unfitting, but I do it to be close to you, because Love is undying. And I do it because I am not sure that the love I have for you is understood.

Unconditional love, I do not expect anything back, I just am, because I did not give you anything that was mine to start with. I do not want you to change, because you are perfect the way you are, it is what makes you You. I do not need to know why I love you, but still I do. What I do know is that Love flows from me to you and that is enough for me. I enjoy the waves of warmth that come through me to you. I guess you have sent out a request to the world to be loved. And I answer to the divine will, and if you want it, and if it wants to come through me, I do not deny it.

But I do not assume that you would understand, nor do I suppose that you would not. I see you anew every time, because I respect you and who you are my friend. Respect in its real meaning, to be willing to re-look at someone, to be willing to revisit and change my view of who I think you are, not depending on what you have done in the past, but what you do now, and now and every now that comes into my way.

But still I have a hard time being myself around you, I am a frog in your presence. Not wanting to impose myself in any way. Waiting to see if you see who I am, not what I show, and do not show. Wanting to see if you see beyond my green skin. Because when you do, you will find that I will be there, I will let you be who you are, with me you would still be free, because I do not believe in a me that has anything nor do I presuppose that I could control anything or anyone. With no ego in need of glorification, there is no one to be hurt when your love flows in all directions. I only see a playmate in the saga that is life. And I cannot impose anything on you in anyway, thinking such would only cause suffering. If I were to kiss you, you too would become a frog. Yet a single kiss is all a frog needs to know that he is seen. Truly seen.

–I see you, said the fair princess and kissed him on his lips.
The frog turned into a prince, he knew he could unfold in her presence. She was a pure channel for love and she could see through the game of things. She was not afraid to be who she was. The strength she showed in that instant was enough for the young prince to last a lifetime, to be strong for both of them and the ones to come. In that kiss were the words that could not be expressed, those things that could not be said, and in that kiss were those words that could only be said between the lines and the words that were hidden in reverse tongue.

There didn’t seem to be another way to show herself than through that kiss, and he knew that the person he saw and knew was there was wanting to come out of the prison imposed upon her. He knew this by the unspoken words those very lips uttered in that instant that they had touched his.

-By my side you can be free and be yourself my princess, you do not have to hide your shine because you are afraid to provoke anyone. Nor do you have to pretend you are something you are not and do not want to be. Gone are the days when you had to roll around in the filth to fit in with the mongers that try to sell their lies to anyone who comes their way. You can be who you are and shine ever so bright my love, and know that I will always be by your side, even at times when you are far away, I will be there to give you strength. I love to see you in your waters, swimming around, thriving and shining like the star you are, your radiance gives glow to me and everyone that in your presence be.

Forgive my lamentation friends and lovers of this world, I am only ventilating. You see, if I keep my thoughts inside I only give fuel for you to rule my world. You are not what I think you are, and what I see of you are just shadows of my own mind. What is inside of me is what I find outside of me, so by taking my thoughts of you out of me, I do not expect to see them in any other form than written in words. In the light the shadows of my mind disappear. I am only communicating with you my dear reality, what I like more of and of what I do not. This is my dream, and you are my silver screen. The projector is me and so I know that what I see is what is within me, thus I do not judge and my complaining is nothing but a calculation. A calculation, looking for a solution to a problem. Jotting down the numbers in an equation, letting the calculation take place in the processors that we are, letting the answer trickle down into reality, trickling down from the structure that supports and underlies it, permeating you, the world, with the effects of the solution playing out as a wonderful play on the wall of creation.

In any case. I am alright. My disease puts me at ease, there is no fight. My disease can be cured by ingesting the juices of grapes in hues of reds and whites. The cure is temporary, but so is the dis-ease with the condition to start with. I like being who I am because that is who I am. I love you all, because you make me see who I am, not because you tell me in words, no that is the language of me. You, my beloved world, you speak the tongue of the world, and what you say you say in actions and the form you take. I can only love you, when what you do is mirror me, you show me what I am, and for that I love you. You speak to me and I try to listen. I say this to you, your voice is heard, your roar in the void for me to hear, for me to come and love you for who you are. A unison sound from the mouths of the millions “This is who I AM!”
I see, and I agree. Truly, this is who I AM. And I love you for it.

My thoughts form the world that I see, like molten lava things go from not to be

You are my world and your dance sets me free, just watching you thrive makes me smile with glee

Forgive my words they mean harm to none, but once they are said they can’t be undone

I write of people and call them you, so I will be better at letting life flow through

Because within me all of this takes place, please see I am only trying to stop this race

A race of pride and provocation, to set us free is my invocation

Because your actions are within me, and in the I we’ll always be

Dreams and Enlightenment

2010-03-30T15:52:00.003+01:00

What do you dream about? In life, at day and at night? What is the nature of our dreams? They are affected by the feelings and moods that we are in, our aspirations, hopes and fears, taking us through familiar places as well as showing us places within ourselves that are unknown to us, sometimes scary, sometimes wonderful but still they come from a place that we have access to, otherwise we would not be able to dream them. A place within ourselves.

When unaware of the fact that we are dreaming we are left at the whims of our subconscious, experiencing what is in there, walking through the rooms of our inner mansion at random. Random in the sense that we are not conscious of the factor deciding the direction we take, experiencing one event after the other seemingly disconnected from each other.

But we can become aware in a dream, we can realise that we are dreaming and we can choose to experience what we want to. To fly, meet a loved one, find out information about a matter we want a clearer perspective on. We can create things out of the blue, and the more we create in our dreams the more aware we get. When we give attention to our dreams we listen to our subconscious, what it tells us and it knows we hear it.

Opening up that dialogue, showing it that we listen, that we care about what our subconscious has to tell us the channel of communication with it becomes stronger.

How do we talk to it then? When we are not aware of our state of dreaming, how can we talk to our subconscious? Well, just having a notepad by your bed, writing down your intention to become aware that you are dreaming after you fall asleep, and write that you will write down everything you remember of your dreams the minute you wake up catches the interest of your subconscious.

All of a sudden it has a playmate. Having been trapped in a room, where its only other inhabitant has been sleeping and completely deaf to the words that it has been yelling to us, all of a sudden it can talk, it has someone to interact with. You might not speak the same language to start with, because neither of you have been able to learn the language of each other. We, speak the language of humans, with words, the world speaks the language of the world, with symbols and interaction. But it is easy to start speaking the same langue, take a language course, get a dictionary… a dream dictionary of course.

Writing notes and putting them in spots where you go when you are awake that implore you to stop and ask yourself whether you are awake or asleep also helps. You start recognising what it is that defines your waking state, and all of a sudden you take this behaviour with you into your dreams and realise that something is different, and that you are in fact sleeping. Fine-tuning your sensitivity to different types of realities.

Once you have done this for some time, you will find that when in the awake state, you stop and ask yourself if you are dreaming or not, you are not so certain of the fact that this is not a dream any longer. Once you have started to really look into the essence of the dreamlike world, comparing it to the essence of the so-called awake world, you start seeing similarities and you will find it increasingly difficult to assert yourself that you are actually awake.

This realisation, or habituation of being able to wake up to a greater reality in a certain state all of a sudden starts seeping through the different layers of your being, and you can awaken yourself in the awake state, just as you started doing in the dreaming state. In the dream world you don’t let your thoughts of what you think you are hold your subconscious back, the full being that you are is allowed to move and melt with the observer. You are what you observe and you start realising that more the more you become lucid in your dreams. You are allowed to let your full creative potential play out in front of you and inside of you, moulding the very essence that makes up that world into what every you desire.

This other half of you, your subconscious, is with you when you are awake. What people call random encounters, synchronistic events, omen and signs can all be read the same way you read symbols in your dreams, and the more you listen to them the louder they speak, and the more you allow your subconscious, the soul aspect of you, the aspect that contains the world and holds the form of the body of the observer that you are, speak to you the more access you have to all that information that is within yourself and within the world.

And yes, it is scary, it is frightening to realise that you are walking around in this huge being. It is frightening that what you once believed to be floor, asphalt, concrete and grass under your feet is actually the skin of a being that sees your every move and makes sure you have somewhere to put your feet down as you tread the path of your life on your way to realise that you are what you are, experience and all that you see.

And it is even more scary to realise that you are part of the consciousness of this being. That you can use its arms, just as it can see itself through your eyes. One is thought, understanding and observation, the other is the world, surface of creation and the mirror of your thoughts. Lend it an eye and it will lend you an arm. Let it see itself through your thoughts, let it into your body and it lets you into its body. It calls on you to see it for what it is, like a princess stuck in the tower of stone and earth your soul is stuck on the other side of the veil of creation, the tower of illusion. Kill the dragon of ignorance with the piercing ray of awake wisdom and attention, release your soul from the prison of the material and melt into one, so that the Kingdom becomes yours.

King and Queen over Heaven and Earth, realising that they are One, becoming the One who in joy over re-unitng with its other half roars throughout all of creation supported by the mouths of the millions a loud sounding “Finally I AM again”!

Brother Sol dreams of Sister Luna dreaming of him… who dreams who, how do we get to the same side of the coin?

Sister Luna, I am your world and you are mine, if I only knew how to, I would move to thine. Now it seems I cannot be sustained without your thoughts of me, and there is no you to think of me if I leave this world be, but truly I cannot see any other way to live on if I cannot melt with thee

Goddess of the night, come with all your might, possess me, I surrender without a fight. I give an eye for an eye and a hand for a hand, so that with one foot in your world I can finally stand.

Being Open and Enlightenment

2010-03-28T23:16:00.002+01:00

Being open is to have your emotions on the outside, your thoughts in your actions.

Not thinking about what to say, but talking. Talking from a place of truth inside yourself. Knowing that what you are about to say will be coming from truth, and not from a place of hidden agendas. Not hidden from anyone else, and not from ourselves.

Do we know why we say the things we do or act the way we do? And if we don’t know, do we at least trust that the words will find their right place when we open our mouths? That they will give a correct image of who we are, of who we want to be and does that match who we perceive ourselves to be? If so, then we can be open. We can be open and we can be free.

But freedom comes at a price. Not knowing what it is that the open person has, others try to possess it. The first way to possess it is by possessing us. If they cannot possess us, they want what we have, and when this too fails they try to take the joy out of our experiences of life by not acknowledging us and what we do.

They catch every opportunity to mention that what we are doing is wrong and that we implicitly are worthless. They do this so that our glow will not make the darkness within them visible to anyone else nor themselves. They do such so that the clear tone that we emit won’t make them realise that they are singing out of tune. But they do it to protect themselves from further harm, and we become the victims of their protection, because it is easier to stain their view of us with the darkness that surrounds them than it is to dispel that very darkness from within themselves.

But it doesn’t work. When we are strong and open it simply does not work because of one reason. And that reason is that we are free. We are free and we are open. In freedom there is Love and in freedom there is Light. And in the light there is no judgement. We know and trust that what we are, and what we do comes from a place of truth. The place of truth that says that I know what I AM. I AM.

Keep on Shining Friends of the Light

Fire and Light is fun, even the old men of cavernal times knew this and were often seen holding torches to chase the darkness away. Cavemen 1 – Darkness 0

Photos and Enlightenment

2010-03-27T20:21:00.000Z

A picture… capturing the movements on the surface of creation.
Beings in a dance, captured in time, frozen snippets of a selected segment. Using the lens of the camera as my only eye. What is seen is all that exists.
No more no less…
No less as the entirety of creation exists in those moments.
The full potential of the entire world playing out a dance in front of me.
Me, observing… observing and capturing.
Capturing what was always there, intoxicated with the feeling of power, framing the world as it chooses to unfold in my presence. Knowing it has my full attention, not a single element is missed. My vision focused in one single ray, radiating love in two directions in a nowhere that is everywhere.
Nothing else exists than what is being experienced, what is within the field of vision. I am just an observer and it is the act of observing that sets the world in motion, it is the act of observing that creates something to observe.
By knowing myself, I know the world, knowing there is noting to be observed without the observer, no observer without a world to observe. I am the observer, I am what I AM.

Global awakening, Fairytales, Love and Enlightenment

2010-03-26T20:39:00.016Z

When people talk about Love being the all-pervading essence of the world, they do not know how right they are. It is not an intellectual concept, nor is it an impersonal Love outside of creation.

My first memories are not memories from past lives; they are memories prior Life as we know it.

When all was One, where fragmentation had not occurred, silence was. As a slow awakening from the undivided one I split into two halves, still in emptiness, an emptiness that was infinite. Like two voices in the void, I was no longer one.

- Do you remember?

- Do you remember what it was like when we could touch each other?

All the eons where we were looking for each other…

- I do…

I miss it, I miss you…

- The feeling of getting to know, of not knowing…

I want to touch you again, hold you, caress you, be shy in front of you, meet you, and win you back all over again…
…do you want to go back?

- …I do

...and in a blast that filled the emptiness, there was form, and light shone upon the form, and we were split into the world, and the world was created with a history and a past from our very own essence so that we could meet again, and all the things in the world were there so that we would be able to feel the joy of finding each other, the joy of seeing this other part of our selves and recognising it for what it was.

And I did not fail to recognise. In an instant I knew, before our eyes met I was lifted into a higher space, slapped by the bigger being I was into waking up and realising what I was about to experience.

I did not think, I did not act, it was creation that acted through me. The very reason for the creation of this world was in front of me and the inherent longing of finding a way of becoming whole, one, now appeared in front of me. The half that I was instantly understood that up until that day I had been just that, half.

My soul was incarnated here with me, and under the wings of my soul was the entirety of creation, adorning her body with jewels and the centre of her being was the crown jewel, Herself. Never had I seen anything as beautiful and never would any thing come close to her beauty. A Goddess yes, in fact, all other goddesses were just different aspects of her being helping me to she the brightness of The One Goddess clearer.

I wondered if she knew. I wondered if she knew I created this world for her, for us. Was she aware of who we were and the fact that everything around us was just the set for our epic story to take place. The figures that surrounded us had supporting roles, but they were all just helping us play out the love story that creation was. Like pawns on a chessboard we threw them at each other when we were angry over our shared incompetence in overcoming our inabilities to comprehend and communicate what and who we actually were.

Being halves of each other, we were also mirror reflections of each other. The mirror image does not change until the I changes, because the reflection is also me, thus the change comes simultaneously in both when change takes place within and without. I got lost in duality in front of Her, because She was the very reason of duality, she was the head of it, and creation was her body.

There was no need to transcend this dual aspect, as duality in itself was because of it and failing to realise this and failure to act on the realisation was hell, it was hell because it would mean the death of the world. This scared the I that I thought I was, it scared me to the extent that I forgot how to be myself when faced with her.

I had met here once in all her splendour, without her need of a body to interact with me. It was when I had walked in the woods at night, looking for myself that I had stopped projecting my view of the world unto Her that I met her. She was the night sky above my head and the grass under my feet. She took the moon down as her eye and the branches of her tree showed the outlines of her face as it constantly moved. We spoke, and I told her I loved her, even though she was the world and I but cattle inside of her body.

She felt ashamed for me to see her naked, without a body to hide in, ashamed that things grew inside of her body and died during winter. Ashamed over her children refusing to grow up, running around inside of her, digging at her, polluting her and destroying her. She was ashamed that death was inside of her. The day died every night and summer died every winter just as the creatures inside her grew and grew until they too got old and died and had to come back to try again, again and again.

I told her to not be ashamed, that She was beautiful, and that the very reason I was inside of Her, had taken shape in Her in the form of this boy in the becoming of a man was so that I could meet her, touch Her and be with Her. I swore to bring down the sun and forever shine within her so that we would never again be apart, so that heaven and earth would be the same so that the world She had grown for me could be sustained, alive and thriving. I would take care of this garden that she had made for us to meet in again, I swore to be the Grand Garden King in this neglected space of reality.

She took the branches of the tree and held out her hands and into her hands a Star descended. It was our unborn child she told me, that very same Star that I had wished upon so many times.

She gave it to me and I accepted her proposal saying that I would give that very same Star back to the her in the visual shape of Her that I adored the most, where I would want Her to wake up to who She was.

Like the Star on top of the magical wand of a good fairy this little God that was our child would make Her awake to her true nature. I would put that Star on her finger to bind us together, to start our journey towards becoming one once again, so that we in that undivided state would have good memories when this eon passed. Because once the story is fulfilled, that is all we have left. The memories of the dream that the world is. And the drive we feel towards something bigger through our lives is the longing back into Oneness. That is why we hug, kiss and wish to be close to others, to feel that other half join with our half, to feel like One again.

I wished upon that star, and sent it on a mission you see. When you wish upon a star you let this unborn God do things for you. It is it’s training into becoming. That is why you shouldn’t tell anyone what you wish, because then there is nothing for the Star to do. It would be as evil as throwing catch with your self, letting the dog sit and watch in pain as it is left out from the joyous game.

Like a frog I sat and waited for the star by my small magical pond. Once a fish, I had swam up on land out of Love for the world, wishing to know all of Her. And the world had seen my Love and it had been answered. And by the loving touch of the world, the fire of transmutation had burnt within me, transforming into a higher state, being able to master both water and land.

But I was unwilling and unable to release my powers further away than the circumference of that pond, afraid of myself and my capacity. How could I know how to use my magical powers correctly when I was split in half? When my better half, the part that completed me, was not with me?

So one star bright night, sitting on my floating leaf I saw the vast wetlands shine-up in the distance. The light grew and grew until the point I started hearing it. And out of the reed this wonderful creature with a starry shining tiara stepped out.

Shocked at the beauty appearing in front of me in this inaccessible wetland of lost dreams I shook like a leaf. She looked out over the pond, as if expecting to see something or someone, so I thought I’d better ask what her business was in this part of creation.

-Yes?

….

-Ehhm… hello?

-Down here, my fair lady

-Oh, I did not see you there,

…and I did not expect a frog to be talking to me,

-Appearances are not everything my fair lady, I was once the King Fish of this pond you know.

-A king you say?

- Oh yes, but I was ready to leave all of that for the Love of the world, I loved it so much that I wanted to know all of it. So now I am not a king anymore, but I gladly gave that up for my Love, and Her Love for me was answered which filled me with such a feeling of joy and ecstasy that it burnt away all impurities within me and made me leapfrog through evolution into becoming what I am here.

- That is very brave of you my little friend, giving up a kingdom to gain wisdom, but I see you are shaking now. Do I scare you?

- I am shaking because I see that I am in the presence of a high being, a princess of angels from another world and I do not know how to act in such presence you see. No other way could you have come here through these swamps without having as much as a stain on your shiny white dress. Before when I was a king, I had mastered all the things I could as a fish, I had everything a fish could ever ask for but I was not happy, there was something I needed to do. But now I see all the fish swimming around happily in what was once my birthplace and I realise that I have outgrown them all, they do not want to hear of my tales outside of the pond, so I have no one to talk to, no one who understands me, and I resented them for it. That made me resent myself, but with time I was able to cope with the fact that we were of the same source but different. And now, seeing you I realise that in your eyes I must be nothing but a worm who cannot interest you in any way neither my fair princess.

-Oh, I am no princess, and this is not a tiara. I was wishing upon a star to take me to that place which I heard people talk about, the place where nightmares end and destiny begins. It took me far away from a land very different from this. It lifted me over the most inaccessible landscapes and kept me safe from harm as it brought light to my path. I did not know where I was going, and the things that happened on the way I did not understand. I almost fell asleep walking such a distance, and at points I was truly sleepwalking, but the Star kept on pushing me forward, shining ever so bright right above and behind my head. And now I met you my humble frog, and the Star does not push me any further. And your tale does not bore me at all my dear friend. Of the strange and horrible things I have heard on my way here said from beings and creatures that look more like me, the only sane thing that I have heard so far are the words that you utter with your green little mouth.

Intrigued as she was by this marvellous creature she bent over to give him a kiss. As she did, he felt that very same desire to be the best he could in front of this angelic being. The Love that he opened up to flowed into him and transmuted his being, completely smashing down all the walls inside of him, burnt within him, and he turned into a young man, his halo of Love and Compassion adorning his head in the shape of a crown.

Now He could become what he was destined to be. Together with Her by his side they could merge and unfold their wings. With Her by His side, he knew, he would be able to unfold his potential. No longer did he need to limit his strength and powers to a pond. With his Soul by his side, the magic that was theirs pervaded the entire world.

The Kingdom of creation was rightfully theirs to inherit and the era of Love and Magic would being. Their heads would be crowned with the Sun and no more would things die in the long night of the year, no longer would anyone sleep as there was no more night. The Sun went up and a Golden Dawn was here. The light they spread had prepared way for the swarming of angels, gods and all creatures to take their rightful places in creation.

No longer would anyone believe the world was dead. Once again would men talk to trees, rivers, and animals. Once again would the children of men walk tall next to the Angels and all of creation was regarded as equal, the ceremony of their wedding would last to the end of times. Fairy tales always ended with ‘they lived happily ever after’ because there was no way for linear-timers to follow into the ever present eons of no-time. But for the ones who had glimpsed the Kingdom they knew that this was where the nightmare of separation ended and the story of Life began.

This was the unification of opposites, the Everlasting Day where no man shall sleep no more, where the dead shall wake from their slumber and realise that they were all aspects of the undying One. The entire creation is Love, by Love it was started and Love is what ends the nightmare of the dark age. Love shone into the darkness and made us realise that we were what we had always been, a unified I. I AM what I AM and always have been, in truth and in Love I AM.

Evolution of the New Man occurs by leapfrog with the Loving kiss of Mother Nature

Destiny and Enlightenment

2010-03-25T13:20:00.004Z

Is the world predestined?
Is there such a thing as destiny?

My destiny is what I am supposed to do, so is what I do then not my destiny? Places we shall go to, things we will do and people we shall meet, its all written in the book of Life. But who is writing? I like my destiny, that is why it’s mine. I am destined to experience the things I like.

Not because someone or something has decided so, but because the determining factor is me. If the experience I have of Life is mine, and who I am is a result of my experiences then my experiences and I are the same. Why would I then experience things I do not like? Is it because I don’t know what I like? Can I feel attached to the things I experience that fall out of the liking category if all they do is help me define and find what I actually like?

And if I am awake and aware of the role they play in helping find my path can I really dislike them? No I appreciate them for what they are, the kindness they show me when they appear in my field of experience to help me find that thing that I am supposed to do. They can only be disliked if they are misunderstood.

In a reality with infinite possibilities, what governs the reality that I observe is my understanding, or non-understanding of that very same reality which I cannot separate from myself. What I feel about the things I make myself experience decides whether or not they will continue to manifest. And they will continue to manifest until I have heard their message, until I listen to that part of me which is not the observing aspect of me, the part of me that is not divided and fragmented over a time span. It is the part of me that has all the answers because it is undivided and stretches from the beginning to the end and holds those very two aspects within itself.

In infinite time there is enough time for everything to occur an infinite amount of times, thus all that can occur is destined to occur. I choose to experience certain things that will help me realise this but in my limited self I cannot see how the things I experience lead towards that goal. The limited self does not have to see, does not have to understand, it only has to trust, trust that the larger aspect of myself whose arms are the people in front of me and whose body I live within and support my every step.

Not once has it failed to hold my foot when I put it down, not once has it failed to tell me where I should be and what I should do. It is I, the limited self that has refused to listen, like a disobedient child that wants something now, craving something badly and not being able to see the situation from a higher perspective that is bereft of the limits of time and space.

But now I trust, I observe things and I am intrigued by the language of the world, because it speaks to me, it speaks to me with the words of the world. Its mouth is the mouth of the millions and its voice is the only voice that is heard. And I hear it calling, calling me to live my destiny, whatever way I choose, choosing the things I like, observing the outcome of my desires as I walk my path to becoming what I AM.

If I can hear the calling I know its for me, because it is within my experience...
...but who is calling?

Personal issues and Enlightenment

2010-03-24T19:24:00.006Z

Cogito, ergo sum. I think, therefore I am. But thinking alone will not allow me to realise what I am. What is personal and what is not. If it is within my field of experience then it is my personal experience of the matter at hand.

What right do I then have to externalise any of the experiences I have and put them outside of the I AM. If I am a result of my experiences, then surely the experiences I have are part of me.

If my experiences and I are indistinguishable, then what are the dramas that are being played out all about? They are not about what someone else does, thinks or neglects to do. It is all about what I feel about the experiences I have. I am ok with everything, or so I say, but then I let myself experience things that trigger an emotional reaction within me. And I am thankful. I am thankful to see that I can challenge myself and have the chance to work on myself, accepting the scope of reality as it is. I am thankful that there are things that allow me to experience the game of life as if I were something separate from it. Connected, but not identical to it. It is in these moments I get lost in duality. But with one foot outside of it, still realising that it is still myself I am observing. But to be affected by things give me a drive to do something about them. Accepting and embracing duality.

There is one aspect of me that triggers me more than anything, it takes many forms but the core remains. It was a mystery, but I now see it clearly. It is when I am not seen for what I truly am by the aspects of me that I love. Or in dual terms, it is when someone that is dear to me paints on their image of who I am onto my skin, and when that image fits me ill.

In these situations I talk to the person, or if we are again to transcend duality in our wording, these are the situations where the observing aspect of myself and the aspect in conflict connect and exchange information. Detached from emotion I am able to integrate both views and accept them and see them both as true.

The synthesis of this acceptance will then enable me to move on in life. Still within the scope of duality sure, but enough experiences in transcending similar situations opens up a path in consciousness to allow it to happen before conflict arises. To allow reality to flow effortlessly in front of the observing aspect, to see that there is no inherent conflict, the conflict comes when I do not accept what is. The non-acceptance is the conflict, every single time.

But what do I do when the image of my inner conflict will not meet or talk about the conflict. Do I have to resolve that conflict completely ‘within’, without the aid of the incarnated trigger to my own drama? Can I resolve it without seeing the person face to face, without talking to them? If I choose to not be bothered and not care about the avoidance of confrontation, do I not then feed into that very drama?

I am then agreeing to not resolving, and my trying to resolve is then met with silence that further my own reaction. This is however where I have the chance to end the spiral experience. I cannot choose to end their behaviour, but I can choose to continue trying to resolve it, but without feeling attachment to the result. Their listening or non-listening, their feeding their incorrect image of me does not have to affect my own behaviour. In fact that is where the problem the trigger is showing me lies, me limiting myself based on perceived external circumstances. The way for me to end their triggering behaviour is to choose to not be triggered by it, and this in turn happens when I see it for what it is, something within, a non acceptance. A non acceptance of the non accepting part of the experience that I am.

But I know why I am doing what I am doing, I choose to be aware of this. I do not see the entire process as it happens at all times, because I am fragmented over time and space. Sometimes the root lies deep and hidden. But I know that the essence of me, the undivided me knows, so I am true to what I know and trust that what I know and do in the moment is part of a larger action, the larger being that I am. Not just this time-slice of who I appear to be in any given moment but the entirety of who I am and what I am experiencing. The part that trusts that this other part of me triggering me, is the very same part of me helping me to transcend the reaction. In this view I can feel only Love for that very same experience that once triggered another emotional reaction.

So their reaction to me acting out my truth will not make me withhold myself, as this would further the act of them not viewing me for what I am as I would not be showing who I am. So the way to communicate and resolve the issue at hand then seems simple; know what I am and be true to it. Be truth. Act truth. Because In truth I am not conflict, I do not have personal issues. No, in truth I AM. In truth I AM.

I AM what I AM, but when I let what I think I am obscure the Light from who I AM, I confuse the shadows of my mind with what really is, and I am stuck in the shadow world that will ever only be able to produce yet another door, but never an exit. The only way out is by turning towards the Light and let all the walls that I had built around myself with the help of fear and ignorance burn in the Light of Truth. But knowing this I can stay, I can choose to stay and I can choose what figures I let my mind produce on the wall of creation, intentionally and without fear. I turn on the light to see there is no monster under the bed and I turn it off again and to go back to sleep, sleeping safely and dreaming wonderful dreams.

Coffee, Cigarettes and Enlightenment

2010-03-23T17:58:00.002Z

I like waking up, having a cigarette and a cup of coffee in the sunshine on the roof, it is holy, I enjoy it and it makes me thankful. It is pranayama aided by a stick, but it is still time for reflection.

If only people were aware that they are not buying cancer, it is not the nicotine they want. They want those few seconds of silence, where they take an action, normally carried out by our autonomous nervous system, into their conscious mind. This is MY breath, I choose to inhale this, I am human, i have the choice to breathe because I want to, even to misuse my breathe is my right. NOT because I am a slave to any substance, but because I can. I can do this, and I choose to. It is my free will to use my breath for what ever I please and in what manner I choose.

But when the choice is no longer mine, when the cigarette breaths through me, that is when I quit. I quit because I can, because I choose to. I let it be enjoyed by me, I acknowledge its existence and I appreciate it. But we have an understanding. When it clings on to me, I shed it off. I can do that. I know. I have choosen to do so many times. That choice is there, just as the other choice is ever present. My choice is the choice of non choosing and thus I also choose both... Captured in linear time as I am I do both at different times but let none of them define me. I AM what I AM.

Don't believe the hype